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:iconvaselinecats: More from VaselineCats





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Submitted on
August 29, 2012
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Jesus christ. My mean fucking piano teacher Brooke Shields is like always saying shit like "Oh, Ernest...you're pressing the keys too hard! Stop that!" and I'm all like "I'm an artist, Brooke! An ARTIST! You can't judge how I'm making my art! I'm expressing myself, Brookey! Why aren't you letting me live my life?" "But you paid for these lessons and your mother said you work so hard and always follow the rules like in her home!" I go quiet for a moment and slam my hands on the keys looking into her sad little brown eyes and shout "UGH BROOKE UGGGHHHH!" and storm off. I run up the stairs then run back down to the middle and say "You're a mean lady! You're an OPPRESSOR! You're gonna paaaaay!" then I run back up and play my keyboard.

Through that I created my own of music called "Pressing-Too-HardCore". All I have to ask though is why? Why, Brooke? Why, Brooke Shields? What did I do to you? I am a good Christian boy even if I am a bit different. Overall it's you and society that is wrong not me! It's just not likely that I'm wrong on this one, Brooke! I am following my HEART! I am so sorry you are so stupid and dumb and cannot see the truth in what I do. In the end it's your fault for being a big dumb idiot. Goodbye.

You will pay because I will be famous and when you try and jump on my stage and say "HEY I TAUGHT ERNEST WHAT HE KNOWS!" I'm not going to take pity on you. My guard will take you away and drop you in the alley's wastebin.

Edit: No, not the celebrity! Gosh, people! The piano teacher!
Edit 2: This zibber cheered me up.
Stripes by KritterKid
  • Mood: Artistic
  • Listening to: My work in progress called BROOKE SUCKS!
  • Reading: A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess.
  • Watching: Quest For Camelot.
  • Playing: With my funny keyboard making great music.
  • Eating: Sugarcookies and Snickerdoodles from my mum.
  • Drinking: My lipbalm. I'm not afraid to be different.
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:iconant-edd:
ant-Edd Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012
you can do two things keep working on your one i have no clue but two your going to need a chain saw
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:iconvaselinecats:
VaselineCats Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012
chainsaw sounds good delicious
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:iconant-edd:
ant-Edd Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012
oh and a apple
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:iconvaselinecats:
VaselineCats Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012
You are my favourite illegitimate son now. You are only one of my cult that actually thinks clearly. I shall get you a biscuit from the cupboard. :pat:
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:iconant-edd:
ant-Edd Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012
thank you thank you
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:iconquadroblitz:
Quadroblitz Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Which way to the slightly more sane part of the Internet? Everyone on this side seems to be the same autistic 11-year-old with 14 different accounts. There is no way so many people with the exact same personality could all be in one place. I'm scared.
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:iconriza-izumi:
Riza-Izumi Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012
.....Are you stupid or something?
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:iconquadroblitz:
Quadroblitz Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Not really.
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:iconnokapiplz:
NOKAPIplz Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012
There is no sane part of the internet. Whoever told you there is any on the internet was trolling you so hard.
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