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Jesus christ. My mean fucking piano teacher Brooke Shields is like always saying shit like "Oh, Ernest...you're pressing the keys too hard! Stop that!" and I'm all like "I'm an artist, Brooke! An ARTIST! You can't judge how I'm making my art! I'm expressing myself, Brookey! Why aren't you letting me live my life?" "But you paid for these lessons and your mother said you work so hard and always follow the rules like in her home!" I go quiet for a moment and slam my hands on the keys looking into her sad little brown eyes and shout "UGH BROOKE UGGGHHHH!" and storm off. I run up the stairs then run back down to the middle and say "You're a mean lady! You're an OPPRESSOR! You're gonna paaaaay!" then I run back up and play my keyboard.

Through that I created my own of music called "Pressing-Too-HardCore". All I have to ask though is why? Why, Brooke? Why, Brooke Shields? What did I do to you? I am a good Christian boy even if I am a bit different. Overall it's you and society that is wrong not me! It's just not likely that I'm wrong on this one, Brooke! I am following my HEART! I am so sorry you are so stupid and dumb and cannot see the truth in what I do. In the end it's your fault for being a big dumb idiot. Goodbye.

You will pay because I will be famous and when you try and jump on my stage and say "HEY I TAUGHT ERNEST WHAT HE KNOWS!" I'm not going to take pity on you. My guard will take you away and drop you in the alley's wastebin.

Edit: No, not the celebrity! Gosh, people! The piano teacher!
Edit 2: This zibber cheered me up.
:thumb307917252:
  • Mood: Artistic
  • Listening to: My work in progress called BROOKE SUCKS!
  • Reading: A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess.
  • Watching: Quest For Camelot.
  • Playing: With my funny keyboard making great music.
  • Eating: Sugarcookies and Snickerdoodles from my mum.
  • Drinking: My lipbalm. I'm not afraid to be different.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconant-edd:
ant-Edd Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012
you can do two things keep working on your one i have no clue but two your going to need a chain saw
Reply
:iconvaselinecats:
VaselineCats Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012
chainsaw sounds good delicious
Reply
:iconant-edd:
ant-Edd Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012
oh and a apple
Reply
:iconvaselinecats:
VaselineCats Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012
You are my favourite illegitimate son now. You are only one of my cult that actually thinks clearly. I shall get you a biscuit from the cupboard. :pat:
Reply
:iconant-edd:
ant-Edd Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012
thank you thank you
Reply
:iconquadroblitz:
Quadroblitz Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2012  Hobbyist Filmographer
Which way to the slightly more sane part of the Internet? Everyone on this side seems to be the same autistic 11-year-old with 14 different accounts. There is no way so many people with the exact same personality could all be in one place. I'm scared.
Reply
:iconriza-izumi:
Riza-Izumi Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012
.....Are you stupid or something?
Reply
:iconquadroblitz:
Quadroblitz Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012  Hobbyist Filmographer
Not really.
Reply
:iconnokapiplz:
NOKAPIplz Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012
There is no sane part of the internet. Whoever told you there is any on the internet was trolling you so hard.
Reply
:iconquadroblitz:
Quadroblitz Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012  Hobbyist Filmographer
I know. But there are different levels of insanity on different parts.
Reply
:iconant-edd:
ant-Edd Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012
yes there can awesome/wired pulls in more awesome/wired
Reply
:iconvaselinecats:
VaselineCats Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012
Bro, stay on topic. We're talking about how Brooke is mean not how you have mental diseases, okay?
Reply
:iconquadroblitz:
Quadroblitz Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012  Hobbyist Filmographer
Oh. Okay. I'll try to stay on topic.
Reply
:iconalvinsbellybutton:
AlvinsBellyButton Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012
@_@

your piano teacher is a CELEB DX
Reply
:iconvaselinecats:
VaselineCats Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012
No. Just the same name. If you read the bottom of the journal you would know that.
Reply
:iconalvinsbellybutton:
AlvinsBellyButton Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012
sexy
Reply
:iconvaselinecats:
VaselineCats Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012
Back it up, sugar. Heeyyy~ :heart:
Reply
:iconmolly0201:
molly0201 Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I shall laugh at this woman who hates your music. And maybe dance a little.
Ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. :icontuzkidanceplz:
Reply
:iconvaselinecats:
VaselineCats Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2012
HAHAHAHA!!!!!

YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS FUNNY? Poop! Oh and my number at the restaurant was 69! Craziness!
Reply
:iconmolly0201:
molly0201 Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Rave time. :iconromanoraveplz::iconitalyraveplz::icongermanyraveplz::iconenglandraveplz::iconscotlandraveplz:
Reply
:iconvaselinecats:
VaselineCats Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2012
lame
Reply
:iconmolly0201:
molly0201 Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yes. I know I'm lame.
Reply
:iconikimchie:
iKimchie Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2012  Student Digital Artist
why people wont like you dammit?
youre a awesome person!
Reply
:iconvaselinecats:
VaselineCats Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2012
exactly
Reply
:iconreenuu:
Reenuu Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2012
Brooke Shields is a douche.
Reply
:iconvaselinecats:
VaselineCats Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2012
:thumbsup:
Reply
:iconbomkosh:
BomKosh Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
This shit gave me the giggles.
Reply
:iconvaselinecats:
VaselineCats Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012
Laugh at Brooke. Laugh at her. She deserves it!
Reply
:iconbomkosh:
BomKosh Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
M'okay?
Reply
:iconjay-theprophet-girl:
Jay-theprophet-Girl Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Student General Artist
I find this very entertaining and quite humorous :XD:
Reply
:iconvaselinecats:
VaselineCats Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012
Feel free to laugh at Brooke's expense. She's evil in nature and deserves it.
Reply
:iconjay-theprophet-girl:
Jay-theprophet-Girl Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Student General Artist
Haha, yes, she sounds quite irritating
Reply
:iconstarcatfri:
starcatfri Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012
I don't mean to sound rude and all, since y'know you are feeling upset but.

Dude.
People go through ALOT worse than that. That is seriously nothing compared to my life. You should be greatfull you even HAVE a keyboard
Reply
:iconvaselinecats:
VaselineCats Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012
I know I am lucky I am just venting about an unlucky situation. I am within my rights here. I am sorry you have it worse. I can probably not even imagine your pain then! My depression makes my oppression so much nast ier in my eyes! That, and I'm a sensitive artist type! You have probably been through a Holocaust of pain if yours is worse than mine and I am so so sorry you have to feel and go through that! :hug:

I can make you a song.

Let me pitch you some lyrics, okay?

Holocaust of pain
I don't know Brooke Shields
But I've been through Hell
Holocaust of pain
Rapture of evil
Holocaust of pain
YEAH

Feel free to use my lyrics to expression the horrors your have experienced to other people. Good luck with the rest of your life. :hug:
Reply
:iconstarcatfri:
starcatfri Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012
Thank you. My grandparents died in the holocaust due to an acid chamber.

Lol no just kidding.

I'm not sure if your trolling or actually caring for me though.
Reply
:iconimmaculatereprobate:
ImmaculateReprobate Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
My grandparents actually had that happen to them. I hate it when people make JOKES ABOUT THAT KIND OF THING!!!

It's like people who make fun of having heart attacks, they think it's funny but MY FATHER D-HHHNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGggggggg
Reply
:iconstarcatfri:
starcatfri Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012
Hhhnnnngggg? It's okay, I climax at random times too?
Reply
:iconimmaculatereprobate:
ImmaculateReprobate Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:iconhnnnngplz:
Reply
:iconvaselinecats:
VaselineCats Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012
I care. I care about anyone and everyone especially those going through Hell. I am sorry my post about that mean bitch ass Brooke Shields brought your terrible pains back to mind. :hug: :heart:

Do your best to keep going on. Life is wonderful like soda pop, a puppy, or a child's smile. :iconbabyplz: < See? Simple things can bring joy. You just have to appreciate them like how I appreciate my mom.

If you were confused by the groups I put this in I just wanted my friends and fans to laugh at Brooke for being a bad person. So yeah.
Reply
:iconstarcatfri:
starcatfri Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012
I still can't tell but thank you if you are serious XD :hug: :hug: :hug: And don't worry, it's getting better. That part of my life is over now.
Reply
:iconvaselinecats:
VaselineCats Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012
I am serious when I say hope you get help for your problems. I am also serious when I say we should laugh at bullies and other mean people. When I laugh at her however I'm not serious because I am laughing in the moment. Does that make sense? Or am I just stupid? O.o;
Reply
:iconstarcatfri:
starcatfri Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012
Lol it makes sense don't worry. I had a piano teacher that yelled at me for not bending my fingers when I would play XD So I know how you feel about mean piano teachers
Reply
:iconvaselinecats:
VaselineCats Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012
Yes! I am so happy someone cool get it! Not like some of these other scrubs that are too shy to comment on my page about it! They note me saying "Ernest, leave the poor woman alone!" Maybe she should leave me alone! I am an adult!
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconbijklonaas:
Bijklonaas Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012
Considering this is in #Parodies, #lulzHQ, and #Absurd-stupid-humor, I wouldn't wake it so seriously. |D
Reply
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August 29, 2012
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