Jesus christ. My mean fucking piano teacher Brooke Shields is like always saying shit like "Oh, Ernest...you're pressing the keys too hard! Stop that!" and I'm all like "I'm an artist, Brooke! An ARTIST! You can't judge how I'm making my art! I'm expressing myself, Brookey! Why aren't you letting me live my life?" "But you paid for these lessons and your mother said you work so hard and always follow the rules like in her home!" I go quiet for a moment and slam my hands on the keys looking into her sad little brown eyes and shout "UGH BROOKE UGGGHHHH!" and storm off. I run up the stairs then run back down to the middle and say "You're a mean lady! You're an OPPRESSOR! You're gonna paaaaay!" then I run back up and play my keyboard.
Through that I created my own of music called "Pressing-Too-HardCore". All I have to ask though is why? Why, Brooke? Why, Brooke Shields? What did I do to you? I am a good Christian boy even if I am a bit different. Overall it's you and society that is wrong not me! It's just not likely that I'm wrong on this one, Brooke! I am following my HEART! I am so sorry you are so stupid and dumb and cannot see the truth in what I do. In the end it's your fault for being a big dumb idiot. Goodbye.
You will pay because I will be famous and when you try and jump on my stage and say "HEY I TAUGHT ERNEST WHAT HE KNOWS!" I'm not going to take pity on you. My guard will take you away and drop you in the alley's wastebin.
Edit: No, not the celebrity! Gosh, people! The piano teacher!
Edit 2: This zibber cheered me up.